The debut

Since about August posting my first post on Las Sisters Jones has been on my ToDo list. I got so sick of writing it I now just put a little "-start LSJ" at the bottom of the list and I know what needs to be done. Anyway, here's the deal: I'm a little late to the party but I'm here. I also brought Sutter Home and Costco cookies, but I made it. Not really, but none of my recipes are all that gourmet or labour intensive (sorry for the annoying spelling but my new computer is British and the red squiggles under every word devoid of a superfluous "u" has forced me to just be a Madonna/Gweneth/Red Coat traitor and add them in). Oh yes, nothing is going to be all that gourmet or labour intensive because that kind of business requires timing...and I'm late for everything. (Except for adolescence... I was actually early for that show. I digress...)

Some little factoids about what's going to happen when I post. My recipes will be most suitable for:

• Poor people...who live lives and shop for foodie food that is inconsistent with their socioeconomic status as they forget they are poor, randomly buy really expensive things from posh markets, feel bad about it/fret about being able to pay their CC bill so they buy cheap crappy other things (morally malleable filler foods we'll call them), and then feel bad about not using locally sourced food/killing off all the poor over-farmed sardines in the world so they go back to their expensive habits. Basically, a hypocrite. Be aware of inconsistencies...because I really don't have time to notice them.
• Social carnivores: I not a vegetarian, I just don't buy/eat meat on my own time because I am too cheap/don't really care about it, so I only eat it in social situations or when feeding the Boy...(this statement will probably not be true by the end of this post)
• People who buy fruits and vegetables and let them rot. The reasons are twofold: 1.) The aforementioned inconsistencies between my personal beliefs and actual lifestyle lead me to only buy the best and most natural foods. I shop like a health nut. I eat like a fat kid. 2.) British people eat garbage. I'm serious. They are repulsive. It's like the war isn't over here. I swear my nice, posh flatmates pick my old food out of the garbage and then smother it in booze, stick it in a cupboard for a month and then make something out of it that would last until the next world war. British people can (and will) make and then eat anything made out of American refuse. It's amazing. I've been taking notes. Suddenly, I have a purpose for letting all my healthy food go off- I can turn it into delicious fattening treats that will last longer than a twinkie (and be au naturale!). It's amazing...all my hypocrisy all rolled up into one sweet little Swiss cake that allows me to be an honest liar all at once. Britain: truly Great.
• People who like to hear random facts about how British people eat and why they are weird in general.
• " " only applied to Indian people
• People with an overabundance of potatoes who also just so happen to hate them. I hate them. Truly. The stupidest, waste-of-a-sin on the Atkins diet. But I have a lot of them. So I have some recipes to help dress up the insipid little balls of watery dirt-flesh. (Obviously, french fries are cool...but only if they are skinny because there is a higher oil:potato ratio.) Note: the surfeit of potatoes is due to my extreme loyalty to my mixed veg box that I dutifully get (and let rot) each and every week in my extreme support of local and sustainable farming. I pay a fortune to ferment locally sourced goods.
• Those who do not like lemon desserts
• Cooks that are afraid of knives
• Those who believe in the power of cheese

So, to be consistent with my inconsistencies, I will not actually post a recipe...but leave this as an open ended post. A half ticked box. I tried.

Loving regards,

Eliza